Now I don't mean to imply that the cookies themselves are underwhelming. Listen to these descriptions: "Smooth vanilla cream on a thin crispy biscuit, enrobed in white chocolate and roasted cocoa beans." "A crunchy biscuit filled with salted caramel, enrobed in milk chocolate and decorated with dark chocolate stripes."
possibly find another word for "enrobed," though, it's really doing a lot
Whoever writes copy for Specially Selected is a hero. Straightforward but poetic, truly the Hemingway of cookie boxes. None of the embarrassing talk of an "indulgent sensory experience" like you might find on a Russell Stover sampler, no foils that open to reveal a message exhorting you to "laugh every day like it's your last" or some bizarre drippy instruction. Luxury Belgian Cookie Gift Box knows it doesn't know you like that, it doesn't know your life. It understands you want to know exactly what kind of sugar experience you can expect and nothing more. It understands you're probably not even buying this for your mom; you need neither the humiliation of a box of cookies goading you to "indulge your senses" nor the dubious descriptions of flavors. You're an adult. You know what ganache is, probably. Luxury Belgian Cookie Gift Box is like the best kind of sales associate at a Williams-Sonoma: she knows you don't know what half this stuff is, but she's going to leave you alone so you don't embarrass yourself in front of her.
These cookies were great and worth however much I spent on them (I think like $3.99?). The vanilla ones are stand-outs. All the cookies were crispy and tasty, and if you haven't bought chocolate from Aldi before, it's truly excellent.
The best part about buying this at Mother's Day is that, even if the Aldi cashier had time to process what you're buying, which they don't, it's not like when you buy yourself a box of chocolates and throw in a romantic card pretending like you're going to give it as a gift to someone who loves you. Oldest trick in the book! Everyone has a mom, potentially one they still interact with. The cashier isn't going to size you up like, "Look at this dummy trying to trick everyone into thinking she has a MOM." So, go ahead. Keep the cookies for yourself and just post either a picture showing off what a hottie your mom used to be, which is not weird or a red flag at all, or a photo of the both of you where your mom looks passably dumpy but YOU look hot, which is also not a huge red flag. (Is there any more succinct way to gauge what kind of relationship a person has with their mom than this?) Your mom can buy her own cookies. The real Mother's Day gift is raising someone who won't post the dumpy photo.
